Helping Shy Teen Deal With Social Situations At School

Exiting school bus with sagging shoulders, watery eyes, head hung low and feet barely dragging the weight of the torso. Does that sound like your teen returning home from school? Such a scene raises curiosity, pain and sympathy all at once in a parent. Your curiosity is quenched by learning that the reason for this sadness is her inability to converse with peers, leaving her alone and awkward. This pains your heart and you sympathize with her. Is that all you can do to make her feel better?

That’s probably not enough, shyness might not sound a big deal in early childhood years but any teen with less than a bubbly nature is frowned upon! What do you think that leaves your child with? Loneliness, insecurity, and sadness. As a parent you can’t settle for this, you want your child to grow as a happy, confident and content person. You can achieve this and you don’t have to actually trade you child’s shy nature for other qualities. It's her own personal characteristic and what needs to be done is to help her manage social situations. We present to you 5 tips that may just do the trick!

Involve Teachers
Teacher involvement to deal this situation sounds like a great idea. Teachers generally have had experience with shy teens and might have their own strategies to help these kids talk in class. A PTM might be the ideal opportunity for you to shed light on your child’s shy attribute and request the teacher to put in some efforts towards dealing it. A teacher might help the child by allowing her sit with her friends where she is more comfortable or maybe allow her ask questions personally. It depends on the teacher’s way but it will certainly be of help!

Trending: Helping Your Daughter Achieve Positive Body Image


Accompanied by Friends
Your child might have a talent like dancing or singing but exhibiting it in public might bring chills to her. When there is a social event where you think your child’s talent can come up, try involving her friends. Peers with similar interests are a great support for shy kids. Arrange for the participation of your child and her friends, call them home prior to the event and pitch in to drop them all off together. The physical presence of like-minded people around her will subside her fears and she will enjoy every bit of the event!

Role Play
Preparing in advance for upcoming social situations is a great way to ease your child’s nervousness. For example, if your child is going to be a part of a school trip away from you, help her practice conversations with her peers. Rehearse ice-breaking phrases with her that will help initiate a conversation. The simplest and sure shot way is by complimenting someone. A simple “You are wearing a smart t-shirt” can lead to great friendships. All teens know the language of fashion and it is the best to spot to hit on to get words flowing!

Snatch Their “Crutch”
As a young kid, they may not have devised an escape from social situations. But with time, increases peer expectations and thus they come up with escape routes or crutches! Some teens may find books as a resort to avoid social interactions. Neither they will look at someone, nor will they have to interact. Each of them will have their own ways of escaping but as a parent, you need to find that out and then snatch it away from them. Make a pact with them to not carry a book while going out, no earphones for school or no sleeping in the lunch hour. Increase their chances of making eye contacts with others so that they can actually use the ice-breaking phrases they practiced with you!

Also Read: 15 Things To Teach Your Teen About Posting Online


Help From Adults

When we were kids, many of us have been through this shyness phase and have learned to deal with it. We feared public speaking, starting conversations with peers or even asking a question to the teacher. We had our struggles and our own tricks to deal with it. Telling your child’s coach or a senior at school about your teen’s shyness might get you help. They might have experienced it and know what worked for them. Your child might benefit from their success stories!

Each child has her own set of qualities that might be overshadowed by her shyness. But you won’t want to give away her individuality for an outgoing personality. The agenda should not be to transform your child into someone else, rather it should be about helping her handle social situations better. All this to be done because you don’t want her shyness to come in the way of her achieving her dreams. She is perfect the way she is and deserves her dreams to be fulfilled so incorporate these tricks and watch her climb the ladder of success!